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I wish there was a follower or anyone on Tumblr I could tell things to and become better friends with.
Dear Laura,
I care so much about you. I know it’s early to say. I know it’s early to feel, but I’m falling in love with you. Every time I watch a romance movie, I think of you wishing you were beside me. I cherish those moments where I see you laugh or smile and I think about it at night. I know we know little about each other. I still cannot believe that in reality, we’re dating. I’ve had multiple dreams about us dating before we actually started dating. It’s hard to believe that my dreams have become living reality. We barely ever text and we barely ever talk on facebook anymore. Am I being too annoying? Am I being too obnoxious? Am I being too emotional and making you uncomfortable? If I am, please tell me so I can restrain myself. I’ve never felt this way about any girl before. You’re special to me, believe it or not. I know I’m not capable of making everyone like me or make everyone happy. I really hope one day I’m able to stand before your family and not worry about how they look at me. I have a dream of us getting married, pretty vivid thinking huh? The first thing I want to do when I get my license is to drive you to school everyday. It’s a big and serious idea. I have to earn your family’s trust and respect. I’m worried Laura, that I won’t be able to do it. I know we’re young, we have 3 years of high school left, and anything can happen. The thing that I don’t want to happen is us breaking up. I do get jealous once in a while, but that’s only because I care. I know I won’t be able to give you the “Cinderella Story” experience, but I try and give you the relationship that’s not stereotypical. I’m not perfect and I have flaws. I’m not always a gentlemen. I’m not always telling you what you want to hear or what you’d expect. I curse here and there. I tell perverted jokes here and there. I say racist jokes here and there. I say “that’s what she said” on a daily basis. I’m not very humorous. I’m not very athletic either nor good looking.. I can’t really see why a girl would date me for that matter. There is a lack of confidence. At the end of the day, I know I’m with someone who will look pass my flaws and discover the true me. I have a dual personality. When I’m with you and like one other person, I act different. I realize you’re there. I become someone who notices what they say. I’m not being fake either. For instance, when we were watching the girls basketball game, I couldn’t help but notice you the whole time. I wasn’t being this arrogant guy. I try to act “cute” to get your attention like laying on your shoulder. I hope we could get to a point where we’ll be able to told hands and what not. Sitting back to back with you at the movies was an incredibly warm feeling. I don’t mean to sound like a broken record. I’m scared. I’m scared everyday. I think about whether or not I’m going to be losing you that day or will we be able to continue on another day. I hope we will be able to hang out more. Being with you makes everything and everyday better. I’m not always happy but seeing you just makes me forget everything. Just so you know, if you ever want someone to stay back with you for any reason, I’m always available. One thing I’ve developed since being is courage. I’ve done things I didn’t think I could do. Lately I’ve felt like you’ve lost interested in talking to me, that you find talking to other people more interesting than talk to me. I guess it could be true or I may be over thinking things. It’s rare to me to see a “white” girl go out with an asian. I’m glad we are that couple. I want to become your best friend, someone you could tell anything and everything to, but I know I have to earn your trust in other for that to happen. I won’t post on your wall emotional things since I know it’d bother people. Thank you for being with me, for giving me happiness, for making me feel like I belong, for “everything”.
